Scaffold State of Mind
It was my moment to hail a yellow cab at West 53rd St in Midtown, 189 Bowery and step on it! I had wanted to say instead they hailed me and we haggled in some cobbled together language resulting in cancellation of Muhammed’s Uber ride and decamping in gray beard the sage of Manhattan yellow cab. I had just spent time viewing Van Gogh, Picasso, Diego Garcia and Wojnarowicz’ work and was beginning to ponder this new age where terracotta tones in Two Nudes imbue misogyny and the masks on Les Demoiselles d’Avignon seemingly hide cigarette burns. Starry Night became a mosh pit for a selfie competing with French tourists. Would Van Gogh want my mug photo bombing his work?
I had wanted to stay for Marty introducing the film Black Narcissus and steer the conversation to the Picasso problem. No time for that as we are hurtling down Park Avenue and Waze keeps telling the cabbie to turn left and soon we are driving through the second story of a building on an overpass with inches to spare as we change lanes in some cab and bus elevated World. We’ve been in town for the past five days enjoying the Scaffold convention greeted by a monstrous half block long two story silver Scaffold upon arrival must be the Convention HQ. Our neighbors from the Bowery mission are taking the award for most lived in Scaffold creating an outdoor living area replete with seating, hanging Citi bikes and 24 hour pot smoke.
Across the street one day we witnessed a one story metallic green Scaffold being disassembled and stopped to watch, surely it will be dusted and re assembled then adorned with dried flowers to compete in the one story Scaffold category. I wondered if we should stay for Act 2 of their street performance. Back in the cab we finally made a turn towards the Bowery and we were going from NoHo to SoHo whizzing by Balenciega, Prada, Yada, Yadda. The street scene is made up of people in lululemon yoga outfits uniform of the day.
Our first evening in town we enjoyed Margarita month at cloudM rooftop watching the sunset over New Jersey and Manhattan come alive sipping Casamigos and Aperol Spritz. That evening we dined at Douska on Delancey St known for handrolls and Yellowtail Crudo. Our party of 5 is sitting on the sidewalk inside a plywood box along the road to the Williamsburg bridge; honking, speakers blaring. Crispy rice and Smooth plum sake wine were a perfect gastronome pairing, we doubled down on both and paid homage to the over sized portrait of Anthony Bourdain behind the Sushi bar. Would I be looked at as a cretin if I asked for soy sauce and wasabi accouterments? Anthony's expression seemed to say so.
Speaking of homage just three blocks north is Nuyorican Poets Cafe 236 East 3rd St. They recently celebrated 50 years and are undergoing a renovation and will surely have the Lower East Side's finest Scaffold. Not to worry, I scored seats at the Nuyorican Poetry Slam at Bowery Poetry 308 Bowery Monday night and have been encouraged by my daughter not to sign up to perform. The sacrificial poet knocked it out of the park and crowds jeered and booed at a judge for a 7.6. JRose the MC asks, “What is Brooklyn in the house?” Fifteen insanely talented poets blessed the mic, one tough cookie whose Momma rhymes with trauma took top prize a 20 dollar bill. Rest in Power Miguel Algarín
It’s Tuesday and the annual outdoor Sauna festival has kicked in so we jump on the F train AKA elevated ancient cemeteries tour also to Coney Island where it is sunny and onshore breezes feel refreshing. First Stop is Nathan’s Famous 1205 Riegelmann Boardwalk, Brooklyn where loaded fries large potato wedges plus bacon cheese dogs and frozen lemonades hit the spot. Several in our party ride the Wonder Wheel and we spar in the video arcade. The best I can do is tie in air hockey instantly demanding a rematch! Coney Island amusement park is sadly devoid of Scaffolds as we are becoming accustomed to that lifestyle. Wait one minute as we purchase tickets for the Cyclone and proceed to Luna Park an enormous 60’ tall white wooden scaffold appears like magic, all is not lost! I take a pass on riding the Scaffold called Cyclone; it is both a New York City Landmark (1988) and listed in the National Register of Historic Places (1991). Those in the Scaffold community lovingly refer to it as ‘Big Momma’
It’s suddenly Wednesday and we are on the J train headed for midtown with stops in the garment district and the 10,000th showing of the Lion King at the Minskoff Theater. After climbing out of the subway we are hit with a heat wave. The sidewalks are hot enough to fry bacon and possibly a small roast although no one here has time for a roast. Sometimes not even enough time for a bacon egg n’ cheese at the corner Bodega. After much searching we find Mood is accessed through a building lobby and elevator to the second floor. We are greeted by a bouncer and a million yards of fabric organized alphabetically: Charmeuse, chiffon chintz, crepe … but we are after the coveted Mood shirt.. We are .4 miles from the theater and have to take refuge in a Dunkins for hydration and doughnut holes. The streets are thronged with people dodging in and out of Scaffolds heading into Times Square. The line for the Matinee is out to the street; we are seated in time for Scene 1 a Trompe L’Oeil of Elephants parading onto the Serengeti and ultimately Ezekeil Kekuna’s exuberance as Young Simba steals the show. That evening again on the rooftop we witnessed the towers of Manhattan come alive tonight awash in Green and Red to commemorate Juneteenth.
Thursday it’s mid nineties plus humidity with a heat index of 195. It is Central Park day with a stop at Rockefeller Center festooned with dozens of rainbow flags for Pride Month, for Liv, our traveling companion who is an American Girl doll. We are wandering through the multi story affair with last year's catalog looking for a purple outfit that doesn’t exist when we are assisted by a headset wearing sales professional who directs us to other suitable purple clothing. The humidity is hell on Liv’s hair and we are hoping for a Doll Spa deluxe package but we are mean mugged by a Long Island crew in floral maxi dresses who have their dolls all lined up ahead of us. The doll cafe is not yet open. We are back out on the streets marching up 5th Ave and make our way past the crowd of selfie-taking tourists in front of Trump Tower to meet Hannah at Central Park. Here we meet Ahmed, a Pedicab driver who offers us a one hour tour of Central Park in his electric assist ‘Lamborghini’ 3 wheeler. We hit all the film sets from Law and Order SVU where they dump the bodies to the bridge in Elf where they have a snowball fight. We are disappointed to learn the Friends fountain although here in Central Park was filmed in a sound stage in Burbank. Ahmed is going on and on about Billionaire avenue AKA Central Park S while viewing San Remo and quoting Apartment prices offering us a discount commission if we are in the market. Ahmed often sees motorcades along Billionaire row and refers to a former President as ‘Uncle’.
Pro Tip: When in Times Square if you are lost and can't find your way the giant neon signs and reader boards all flash in unison pointing the way North to Uptown even the 3D Cup of Noodles container dances in that general direction. There is also a Wayfinding pedestrian sign in Times Square at Broadway and W 46th Street
Somehow we are back in Times Square in front of the Minskoff Theater and I start singing Concrete jungle where dreams are made of, There's nothing you can’t do! Channeling my inner Alicia Keys although I’m not hitting the notes. It must be the humidity or smoke from frying bacon on the sidewalks. I had wanted to go around the corner to the red stairs and perform a viral youtube video, be discovered and earn a show on Broadway just like my heroix and self described idiot Cole Escola. Escola created and is starring in Oh Mary! which just opened at the Lyceum theater a block away, my dream is within reach! Albeit I am relegated to Sinatra's version sung or spoken in any key:
Bum Bum Bump de Bump Bum Bum Bump De Dum...
Start spreading the news I’m leaving today. I want to be a part of it SCAFFOLD SCAFFOLD!
These vagabond shoes are longing to stray through the very heart of it SCAFFOLD SCAFFOLD!
I want to wake up in a city that never sleeps And find I’m King of the Hill Top of the heap Badda Badda Badda Bing Badda Badda Bing
These little town blues are melting away. I'll make a brand new start of it in old SCAFFOLD! If I can make it here I can make it anywhere! it’s up to you old SCAFFOLD SCAFFOLD!!
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